Ides 1: Dear Toronto, You Suck. Love, Vancouver

Everyone who lives in Toronto has heard it: the visitor from Manitoba, the Habs fan on TV, the guy on the chairlift behind you at Whistler, all telling you “Toronto sucks!” Why?! What makes everyone else in Canada think we suck? Okay, we haven’t won a hockey championship in nearly 50 years, and we had that SARS thing, plus a few clunky mayors but still, this town has so much going for it! Toronto is the world’s most multicultural city, with over 140 languages spoken. We have a great beach, the world’s largest car-free urban community, and North America’s largest cultural festival. On top of all that, Toronto was named the best place to live in the world in 2015 by the Economist. C’mon, Vancouver, we want to be your friend, so c’mon over for a beer. We’ve brewed one up just the way you like it.